The word hope is always used when we speak of people afflicted with chronic or terminal diseases. To me, that word makes me feel like I am leaving things up to chance, that I have no control over the outcome; it makes me feel weak.
I never like saying “hope” because it’s like saying “wish” and it may or may not happen; it’s not a certainty.
Believe, however, is a strong, powerful word that I prefer. By believing, there is a sense of knowing what is to come. I can control what I believe and by choosing to believe that things will turn out positively and, in my favour, I believe I can make this happen. This also makes me accountable because I can impact the outcome. It forces me to do whatever I can to make sure I get the outcome I desire.
With the constant ups and downs, triumphs and scares, there is never a dull moment in this journey. With each step I had to find ways to gain control of my mind and thoughts and not become a prisoner of them. There were times when I was terrified, but somehow, I found the courage to believe with my entire being that there is meaning to this experience, and that I would survive. I had to.
Being scared didn’t mean I was giving up, it meant that I am human and as such, have emotions and reactions when things go unexpectedly. There are always setbacks, trials and tribulations to overcome, almost daily it seems. But I believed that even with these challenges, in the end, I would win this fight.
All of the tools, techniques etc. that I talk about are things I embraced.
I believed with my whole heart that these things had the power to heal me.
Believe in yourself.