Initially, I really struggled with quieting my mind. To have the mental clarity to be aware of my thoughts, emotions and experiences on a moment-to-moment basis, and to have control over them, seemed impossible.
Thoughts raced through my brain like cars on a highway and I felt like it would never work for me. No matter how hard I tried I couldn’t clear my mind the way I thought I was supposed to. It left me feeling frustrated and agitated - the exact opposite of what I should have experienced.
Once the cancer metastasized from my hand to my armpit and lungs, I felt like I had nowhere to turn. My life was really upside and I had lost all control. Desperate for anything that might save me or at least help manage the stress I was facing, I decided to give it another try.
I figured this ancient eastern tradition may be worth revisiting. If the benefits were true, that achieving a state of mind that was aware and in control, and that could help reduce stress and improve my physical health, then I was more than willing to try again. I had to do something to fix myself.
Guided meditations with my psychotherapist helped set the stage for the mind work I was about to develop. I realized that for me, it didn’t have to be about clearing my mind completely, it just had to be focused and controlled in a positive way.
Armed with healing stones and a Tibetan singing bowl, I set to work to master my mind. First by focusing on my breath, and then by creating a system that directed my thoughts at healing from the inside out.
I found that by developing a routine, with a process that had steps to focus on, my mind was no longer wandering randomly. I was training it to focus on healing my body.
Stay tuned for the “Visualization” post where I am going to talk about the specific details of my guided meditation routine I developed and practiced daily. This will be available shortly as an audio download at www.Dreapalmer.com